Evil Scout
Here's a question for Ask Cold Carryouts: A friend of mine from days long gone has gotten in the habit of calling me repeatedly in the middle of the night, leaving borderline-harassing messages and, if I actually pick up the phone, rambling on and on, alternating between sycophancy and contempt.
It's possible, nay, even probable, that he's stinking drunk when calling. I'm not 100% certain, because he's always been the sort of fellow who hides his drunkenness very well. Also, when we used to roll together he was wasted a good share of the time.
Originally this was happening every month-and-a-half. Recently it's been every week. At first I was willing to humor him and let him rant while I picked at my nails or read a magazine. But last night, he called and left a message every two minutes until Lee answered the phone, told him not to call back, and unplugged all the phones when he did.
We have a kind of history together. We were involved in Scouts together, and while he always acted in unpredictable ways, he was friendly and smart and engaging. Now he just seems psychotic. Back in the old days, we both were Big Man on Campus in the Madison-area Scouts scene, and worked together on a lot of different projects. While I was in college, we used some drugs together, though nothing the average college student doesn't experiment with.
I have never entirely trusted him: he's acted in a manner I would characterize as shifty as long as I've known him, though to his defense, I don't think he's entirely comfortable around other people. This shifty manner has only increased through the years, to the point now where he speaks in cryptic phrases that refer to what he really means in oblique ways. It's like code, and it's become nearly impossible to understand what he says on any level other than the purely grammatical.
The first time we spoke on the phone, earlier this year, he made reference to having "checked up" on me from time-to-time, to make sure I was doing all right, watching from afar, blah blah blah. It dawned on me later that the facts he knew about me I had freely offered when I ran into him at the grocery store about a year and a half back. In short, I think he's trying to milk me for information so he can use it to exert some kind of power over me.
I have two concerns: the first is for the physical safety of myself and my family. The second is for his mental health, a concern that relates to my first one.
About six years ago he showed up at my apartment, claimed to have been locked out of wherever he was staying, and displayed an irrational rage and desire to hurt the people he felt were responsible for this. He had about him a wildness that to this day I find disquieting, and that situation is one of the key reasons I stopped associating with him.
Years later I ran into him again, and he seemed to have found a kind of peace. We had dinner and a nice conversation, and though it was clear we wouldn't be spending much time together - at that point our lives had simply gone in different directions - I enjoyed catching up with him and learning that his life had settled down.
Now, it would appear that time of "peace" was short-lived, and the wildness remains. I know he's hit some rough times recently, and it's possible that he's simply lonely. But it's also possible that he has lost his fucking mind.
I've considered calling the phone company and requesting a new phone number, but I'm in the phone book along with my address, so it's not like that would effectively prevent him from getting in touch with me. In the near-term, we're going to turn the ringers off our telephones at night, but as resident manager I'm uncomfortable with this as a long-term solution: sometimes people need to be calling me in the middle of the night, should a legitimate emergency arise.
So what should I do? The next time he calls, and asks to trade me my job for his house, what should I tell him? Part of me believes he craves attention, part of me thinks he needs to be locked up. Part of me remembers a close friend who might just be crying out for help the only way he knows how.
What should I do?
It's possible, nay, even probable, that he's stinking drunk when calling. I'm not 100% certain, because he's always been the sort of fellow who hides his drunkenness very well. Also, when we used to roll together he was wasted a good share of the time.
Originally this was happening every month-and-a-half. Recently it's been every week. At first I was willing to humor him and let him rant while I picked at my nails or read a magazine. But last night, he called and left a message every two minutes until Lee answered the phone, told him not to call back, and unplugged all the phones when he did.
We have a kind of history together. We were involved in Scouts together, and while he always acted in unpredictable ways, he was friendly and smart and engaging. Now he just seems psychotic. Back in the old days, we both were Big Man on Campus in the Madison-area Scouts scene, and worked together on a lot of different projects. While I was in college, we used some drugs together, though nothing the average college student doesn't experiment with.
I have never entirely trusted him: he's acted in a manner I would characterize as shifty as long as I've known him, though to his defense, I don't think he's entirely comfortable around other people. This shifty manner has only increased through the years, to the point now where he speaks in cryptic phrases that refer to what he really means in oblique ways. It's like code, and it's become nearly impossible to understand what he says on any level other than the purely grammatical.
The first time we spoke on the phone, earlier this year, he made reference to having "checked up" on me from time-to-time, to make sure I was doing all right, watching from afar, blah blah blah. It dawned on me later that the facts he knew about me I had freely offered when I ran into him at the grocery store about a year and a half back. In short, I think he's trying to milk me for information so he can use it to exert some kind of power over me.
I have two concerns: the first is for the physical safety of myself and my family. The second is for his mental health, a concern that relates to my first one.
About six years ago he showed up at my apartment, claimed to have been locked out of wherever he was staying, and displayed an irrational rage and desire to hurt the people he felt were responsible for this. He had about him a wildness that to this day I find disquieting, and that situation is one of the key reasons I stopped associating with him.
Years later I ran into him again, and he seemed to have found a kind of peace. We had dinner and a nice conversation, and though it was clear we wouldn't be spending much time together - at that point our lives had simply gone in different directions - I enjoyed catching up with him and learning that his life had settled down.
Now, it would appear that time of "peace" was short-lived, and the wildness remains. I know he's hit some rough times recently, and it's possible that he's simply lonely. But it's also possible that he has lost his fucking mind.
I've considered calling the phone company and requesting a new phone number, but I'm in the phone book along with my address, so it's not like that would effectively prevent him from getting in touch with me. In the near-term, we're going to turn the ringers off our telephones at night, but as resident manager I'm uncomfortable with this as a long-term solution: sometimes people need to be calling me in the middle of the night, should a legitimate emergency arise.
So what should I do? The next time he calls, and asks to trade me my job for his house, what should I tell him? Part of me believes he craves attention, part of me thinks he needs to be locked up. Part of me remembers a close friend who might just be crying out for help the only way he knows how.
What should I do?
posted by Sam at
12:32 PM
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