Last Laugh

I'm sure there are some people out there who think all their lives about what they're going to do as their last words.

There are some good ones out there: Thoreau ended his life as nonsensically as he lived it with the statement "Moose... Indian", and so did Alfred Jarry, with "I am dying; please bring me a toothpick."

So, as a Fundamentalist Atheist, what could be a funnier way to leave the world than this?

The scene: it is 2390, and I have tired of having my brain transplanted from clone to clone. I'm just tired of the paperwork, man.

So there I am, and there are two or three people around my deathbed. I am dying of something really stupid (and, in retrospect, perhaps intentional), like a tiger-mauling. My breath begins to rattle. I'm about to die, and I know it.

"Are you guys ready for my last joke?" I gasp.

The folks around my deathbed nod seriously. And the acting begins.

I clutch the hospital blanket, and slowly begin to squeeze it harder and harder as I assume the look of a man staring into the face of total horror. My eyes grow wide, and my mouth opens wide in surprise, like I'm seeing all of my life's work undone, and everything I thought I knew unbelieved.

This takes five minutes, performed in total silence, and then I die.

Those that were in the room leave, wondering: "Was he pretending?"

I think it'd be a pretty good way to leave the world.